Six weeks ago our daughters competed in the Women’s State Invitational Gymnastics competition. Both had been training for 6 months, three nights per week for three hours each session. They were both desperately hoping to qualify for Australian National Level 4. At the end of 2 days of completion, we waited for the gradings to be announced. After the names of those qualifying were called to stand, both our girls were left sitting. My wife and I felt so disappointed for them both. They had each missed out by less than 2 points. They were understandably disappointed.
What, as parents and teachers, do we say to our children when they are challenged, struggle and fail? It is easy to wrap them in cotton wool and give them sympathy. It is easy to make excuses. It is easy to let them give up. Too many students drop out of commitments such as choir or instrumental music when the challenge gets high. The easy way is to run away from the disappointment, from the emotional pain and from the challenge.
We were able to empathise with our daughters and talked about times when we had not achieved what we set out to do. We encouraged them to keep trying.
The following stories of well known people who had failed, but kept pressing on until they became successful, are good to share with your children to help build resilience.
After being cut from his high school basketball team, he went home locked himself in his room and cried. – Michael Jordan, 6 times NBA Champion, 5 times NBA Most Valuable Player and 4 times NBA All-Star.
He wasn’t able to speak until he was almost 4 years old and his teachers said he would “never amount to much” – Albert Einstein, Theoretical Physicist and Nobel Peace Prize Winner.
Was demoted from her job as a news anchor because she… “Wasn’t fit for television.” – Oprah Winfrey, Host of a Multi-Award-Winning Talk Show and Most Influential Woman in the World.
Fired from a newspaper for “lacking imagination” and “having no original ideas” -Walt Disney, Creator of Mickey Mouse, Disneyland and Winner of 22 Academy Awards
At age 11 he was cut from his team after being diagnosed with a growth hormone deficiency… which made him smaller in stature than most kids his age. – Lionel Messi, 3 time FIFA World Player of the Year
At 30 years old he was left devastated and depressed after being unceremoniously removed from the company he started. – Steve Jobs, Co-Founder of Apple Inc and Co-Founder of Pixar Animated Studios
A High School dropout, whose personal struggles with drugs and poverty culminated in an unsuccessful suicide attempt… – Eminem, 13 time Grammy Award Winner, sold over 90 million albums worldwide.
A teacher told him he was… “Too stupid to learn anything” and that he should go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality. – Thomas Edison, inventor to the light globe and over a thousand other inventions.
Rejected by Decca Recording studios, who said “we don’t like their sound”… “They have no future in show business” – The Beatles, the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed band in history.
His First Book, And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street. Was Rejected By 27 Publishers. – Dr. Zeuss, best selling children’s author in history
His Fiancé Died, Failed In Business, Had A Nervous Breakdown And Was Defeated In 8 Elections. – Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the USA.
Here is the link to the Youtube clip called Famous Failures https://youtu.be/zLYECIjmnQs outlining the above stories. It finishes with the quote, “If You’ve Never Failed, You’ve Never Tried Anything New”. We want our children to try, learn how to fail well in order to build resilience to become successful.
This weekend our girls once again competed for their Level 4 Gymnastics. After 6 weeks of practicing the skills that they failed last time, both achieved their goal.
Failure builds resilience. Resilience builds success.